The Phone Call...

Guess who called me?

Britt!

The other day she asked me to drive eight fucking hours to see her for a few days.

I said yes. Big surprise.

It was a yes until she told me she was coming into town for xmas but wouldn't be able to make time to see me. Really? Is she serious? She expects me to drive eight hours there and eight hours back, find a dog sitter and take off work but she can't take a few hours out of her time to see me?

I was pissed off. She knew it.

So tonight I was surprised when her number came up on my phone.

Was it an accidental ass dial?

I answered, we talked, and it felt good, just like I knew it would.

Afterwards I text her and told her she could call or text me whenever she wanted to b/c she said she had been feeling lonely and didn't know who she could talk to.

This is what she text me back:
That's very sweet. I'm a jerk. Not intentionally, but I can be and you deserve better.  I'm still trying to pick up the pieces of my past. I would never want you to deal with that.

I told her I could be her friend, help her as much as I could and be there to comfort her when I couldn't do anything else. That I'm an amazing friend and to not let her "issues" get her down.

Britt text this back:
Wow. I don't know how but you managed to say all of the right things just now.  And I've never been more impressed.

I don't know what will happen between Britt and I but I know I miss having her in my life.

Fun Facts About Me

- I don't eat or wear animals
- I do like animal prints
- I rarely wear pants
- I look "femme" but I have a dominate personality and energy
- I love mango, I could eat it all day
- I have a Pomeranian mix named Baby Shane, he's my everything
- I don't want to date again b/c I don't want to deal with the break up
- I wear socks anytime I'm not wearing shoes or in the shower, yes, even during sex ;)
- Mango is my word for vagina
- I never get enough sleep
- I shouldn't be allowed in a kitchen
- I can hop a fence even in heels
- I might want to tie you up
- I want more tattoos
- I want you to model for me
- I'm a great gf
- I keep secrets
- I thought I could "save" everyone from all the bad for a long time, I was wrong
- I love to write, I own too many notebooks
- I'm a freelance photographer
- I'm the middle child
- There's a good chance I will bite you
- I'm a fun drunk ;)
- I always have a knife on me
- I don't believe in or follow gender roles/stereotypes 
- I own too many shoes
- I want to be in NY right now
- I want to get married eventually
- I like to cuddle and sleep close to my partner
- I need a fan on to fall asleep

Thanksgiving

Gina and I went to Tiff's house for Thanksgiving.  We played with Tiff's three week old baby girl!  Then I took a very short nap ;)

Gina and I found this super fancy shopping cart in the parking lot outside Tiff's place.  It was so helpful, we used it from the car to the house ;)

How was your thanksgiving? Any family fights? Any good vegan recipes?

Somewhere only we know

She's on my mind a lot.  

More then I'd like. 

 

We text still.  She has been out of town for work and wont be for the next few months.

I can't help but wonder if she thinks about me.  And what it is she might be thinking.

Love is so difficult.  

So unfair.

Anxiety at the grocery store...

Who in their right mind would wait till the night before Thanksgiving to grocery shop?  

Apparently myself and about 200 other people.  I needed go get stuff to make a salad, a huge salad, with croutons, olives, cheese, dressing and all the yummy veggies.  And I picked up a cheesecake and pumpkin pie!  I wasn't lying when I said I'd be getting some drinks either.  I picked out a few good wines.

Tomorrow should be good.  I expect to be full and sleepy most of the day.  Just how I like it ;)


xoxo

Harlow

One last thing before bed!

I have already decided what my new years resolution is!

I'm not telling just yet.  It's a good one.  A really hard one.  A forever one.  Damn.

Have you thought about yours?  Have you actually ever stuck with one?  I haven't ;)

Sweet dreams

xoxo

Harlow

Thanksgiving means having to pretend I can cook....

I can cook...kinda.  I'm great with vegan desserts and salads.  And anything involving vodka. 

I'm spending Thanksgiving dinner with Baby Shane, Gina, Paco (her dog) and a bunch of our co workers.  We all have to get up crazy stupid early for black Friday b/c of our jobs so we're doing a brunch instead of dinner.  So I'll be tipsy by 1 pm and in bed nice and early to get back up around 9:45 pm to head to work. Can't wait. Love my job.  I'm lying.

Whatevs.  Still so fucking excited about our brunch.  This time I won't get too tipsy so I can remember to take pictures! ;)  I'll probably go with vegan oreo cupcakes (YUM) and some pineapple juice and vodka (double YUM).

What are your plans?  What are you making?  And are you really going shopping on black Friday?  If so be safe!

What a long day

Dinner Party!

The dinner party last night was amazing! Great food, amazing friends, yummy drinks! 

What more could I ask for?  Umm maybe for my ex gf and her new gf to NOT be there! Yup.

So here's the deal.  I live in a two story house, the bottom part is my own separate apartment and my ex and my bestie Gina live upstairs in their own place.  My ex moved upstairs when were still dating and thought it was an awesome plan.  Now, not so much.

Seeing my ex didn't bother me but when her gf (and her huge dog!) showed up I was upset.  I was told they had broke up the day before the dinner and wasn't coming.  I don't care if they are or aren't dating, I have life too, but I don't want to see her fucking gf because I also have feelings (unfortunately).

I took a moment to calm down and collect myself and then rejoined the party.  They stayed in my ex's bedroom so I didn't see them again for the night.

Break ups are hard, they're even harder when you know when your ex and/or gf are also home and you can hear them talking and walking around.  It was a new life lesson: don't live too close to the person you are dating!

I don't want to be with my ex I just really miss the person I thought she was and the friendship we had.  I don't know who she is anymore but I can assure you we won't be friends again.  That's life though. 

"We always deceive ourselves twice about the people we love - first to their advantage, then to their disadvantage." --Albert Camus

xoxo

Harlow

Sunday Night Dinner Party

That's right! Gina Marie (my bestie/she lives upstairs, yay) is cooking for a dinner party tomorrow night.  She's making all kinds of things, some that I've never heard of and a few I won't eat ;)

I'm really just excited to have our friends over and have a few drinks.  After this week I feel drinks are well deserved! Don't you agree?

With all the working we've been doing none of us have really had much time to catch up.

What am I bringing to the dinner?  My amazing style and sense of humor of course!  Trust me, no one wants to eat anything I cooked.  I can make vegan desserts but I'm entirely too lazy at this point.  I'll bring some alcohol and my camera, we'll see what happens.

I'll post pictures after!

xoxo

Harlow 

weekend plans?!

It's a Friday night and I sit alone in my apartment with Baby Shane and Paco (I'm dog sitting him).  I'm too exhausted from working to do anything fun.  Oh and too poor.  Tomorrow I get to stay late at work (yay, not), then maybe shopping for some new work appropriate clothing for my new job.  If I have enough energy.

I'm excited for all the changes going on.  It's good to mix it up, try something new, get a fresh start! Even tho it's so hard to move on sometimes, if something wasn't working out there's a reason.

Speaking of working out, I'm starting back up with my P90X tomorrow!!! :)
Of course I'll keep you posted!

What's your weekend plans?

xoxo


Harlow

it's raining, Baby Shane is a sleepy bear, I shouldn't drink coffee so late

My Life Plan (always getting updated/changed around)

I am a planner.

To the point where it annoys some people.  It's the only thing that keeps my sane.

I know you can only plan for so much but everyone needs a life plan.  Even if it's for the next six months or a year.

Here are a few things that are on my year plan:

1) get in shape, work out daily

2) pay off all of Baby Shane's vet bills

3) pay off all my student loans and my credit card

4) save money to move

5) sell/donate things I don't need/use

6) travel, see my family, go to NYC

7) feel content

On the up side...

Guess what?

I got a new job! Yup, that's right!

I feel good because I'm back on track with my life plan.  I'm going to be able to pay more on my student loans and save money to move.  It's such a great opportunity for me!  I feel so fortunate.  Just goes to show karma is real.  

this is the sound of settling

We have all settled for something in a relationship.  It may not be our proudest or most wisest moments but it happens.

I've finally reached the point where I've decided no more settling, no more over looking huge I-can't-deal-with-this-shit flaws.

I am not perfect. I am flawed. We all are. And I get that.

But come on! Damn ladies!

xoxo

Harlow

Baby Shane

The perfect Monday night

Should I buy em?

A pair of my favorite wedges

all the single ladies...

Where are all the single lesbians looking for serious relationships? I hear a lot of "I just want to have fun" from the girls I've been seeing lately. Umm, since when did being in a relationship mean you stopped having fun? Relationships are fun! You always have someone to suffer through all your errands with, and someone to hug you on those bad days, and someone who will stick it out through the good and the bad. I want to have fun too, I just want to have it with you. ;)

howl-o-ween

out in the city

copyright (c) 2011, to ask to use permission for this or any images on this blog please email me for artist contact information at theharlowblog@gmail.com

a day in my favorite place...