more of 25...

I need a bigger closet...

Good news, I've started to organize my accessories! I no longer have necklaces hanging on door knobs and ear rings missing their mate.  I took a door organized and hung up a good bit of my accessories, I used and old ribbon to hook my ear rings onto.

P.S. I have too many shoes, I never thought I'd say it, but it's true.

25

words & feelings

I'm terrible with words, even worse when I try to use those words to describe feelings. I feel a lot, sometimes I think maybe too much, but the words never seem to convey what I feel. It makes sense why I'm a photojournalist. I want to share my thoughts, my passions and yes, even my feelings with others and art allows me to do so.

I've been incredibly stressed out the past few days and unable to sleep. My dog, Baby Shane, who is my child, not a dog has been having back problems again. Baby Shane has gone through two spinal surgeries and months of physical therapy.  He braver then anyone I've ever known, he's loving, forgiving, doesn't judge, he's loyal and kind and he's my everything. The specialist told me Baby Shane wouldn't be able to have anymore surgeries because it just wasn't possible, which means if another disc has slipped and it can't be controlled by medication and crate confining...my world might end. I lay in bed with so many thoughts running through my head...

I recently met a girl, online. We haven't met in person yet because she lives a few hours away and our schedules have been so crazy, but I'm going to see her next weekend. She's sweet, newly single, very shy but (poorly) pretends to be a bad ass, sensitive (this makes me nervous), and she makes me feel so lonely. We skype, text all day long, talk on the phone at two in the morning, she'll ask what time I wake up so she can send me a good morning text, and again, I feel more lonely because of it. This isn't real. She just got out of a relationship, she's guarded, she's younger then I am, she has to travel for work, the list goes on. I don't know if that list goes on because I'm looking for excuses or because it's how I really feel. After my last few relationship I have been left feeling very alone and difficult to love. Those are awful, hurtful feelings. I know I'm a great person, an amazing girlfriend, I just have to find someone who fits with me, easier said than done.

So many feelings tonight...

xOxO

Harlow

twenty five

I turned 25 and survived.  I thought it was the end of the world but I don't feel any different and I refuse to acknowledge any wrinkles on my lovely face so I guess I shall continue to tell people I'm 23.

I'll post pictures soon of my birthday dinner.  We went to the melting pot and had cheese and chocolate fondue.  I was feeling pretty good after a few yin yang drinks and I wanted to dance. After dinner we made our way to a local bar that usually had good dance music, except for that night of course, it was all heavy metal. There were sounds of grown men yelling as though someone was killing them and the mosh pit had taken over the dance floor. We ended up home by 11:30. I was sober and still wanted to dance, instead I skyped with a girl I recently met.

Not too bad.

I finally made my tattoo appointment.  It only took a few years.  Maybe this one will hurt less. Fingers crossed.

XoXo

2 days

In 2 days I'll be 25
I still need a dress for my dinner
A maid to clean my house
Baby Shane doesn't feel well
The world is full of liars and idiots
My apartment better not be haunted

sometimes I like the lies over the truth

I'll always have the memories of you, of our time together. I do not need to hold on to the love letters, gifts and other physical reminders of you. When I give you the last few things of yours that remain in my apartment I will put those in there for you. I can't bring myself to throw them away, so now you can. I want to read the love letters one last time, even though I'll gain nothing from it, I'll try to practice self control...no promises though. I wish you the best in life, I also wish that we never cross paths again, and that in time when I hear your name in passing I wont feel the way I do now.