the gay title

When I first realized I was gay I kept thinking, well maybe I'm bi, how else could I have gone this long without knowing.  The whole bi thing also helped me when I was coming out, it felt like it softened the blow to people.  I wanted to be seen as the same person I was, I didn't change, I just realized something, a huge something.  I knew quickly that I wasn't bi but lesbian or gay or queer just seemed so scary.  I felt like I didn't fit into any of those, like I wasn't gay enough.

A new friend of mine, B is 20 and has been dating a girl for about a year.  She freaks out if you call her gay. She yelled "ewe gross, I'm not a fag" when someone casual mentioned she's dating a girl.

Umm, what?
Fag? 
Is that proper little lady?

She told me she didn't like that title.  B doesn't want any title.  She loves her gf but she says she young and loves who she loves and no title/label needs to be put on her.  I absolutely get where she's coming from.  People can be sexually fluid and no one needs to try and box them in to a label, because labels come with stereotypes and that can be really scary.  However, she really crossed a line with me when she said fag in a negative way. Internalized homophobia is real.  B, you got some.

It's been about five years since I realized I liked women, and only women, and I embrace the titles of lesbian/gay/queer, whatever you want to say.  Those words remind me I'm not alone. It takes time to grow a thicker skin, to stop caring about the looks you get from other people, the mean, childish shit people yell at, the assholes at work who say you can be raped straight.

Life is too short for me to care about negative people.


XoXo,

Harlow

"no homo"...let's stop saying that b/c it's so gay.....wait....

I find it incredibly annoying when people say "no homo" or "that's so gay."  

There's was nothing more intellectual you could have come up with?

It makes you look like an ass. 

And stop asking me if I'm offended by you saying it.  

Am I offended that you look like an ass?

I'm just embarrassed to be seen with you at that moment.

I need to step up my standards on friends.

Why am I missing my ex so much today?

Maybe it's because I'm wearing the perfume you like, the one I wore when we met, when things were good.

Just have to remind myself why I'm better off. I still wish I could get your face out of my mind.

I hate girls who hate girls, let me explain...

I have several girlfriends who keep saying that I'm their only female friend and that they don't care for other females. Their reasons are that they see women as catty, bitchy, boyfriend stealing gossip whores.

That's stupid.

Being a female (or a fucking human for that matter) you should realize that there are some people, male /female/ somewhere in the middle/ neither/ other, that are bitchy, catty, whore faced liars and what not, it's not because someone has a mango.

When I hear a girl say that they don't like other girls I immediately think that they are in fact all the things they say that hate.  Maybe it's not true but saying ignorant things will make people judge. It makes me question my friendships with them and what their motivation is for being my friend.   

If I don't like you it's because you have given me a reason to dislike you.  Not because I look at you and assume you're a stuck up bitch because of the way you dress, or because you're female, or whatever the fuck it is.

someone come take care of me :(

I strained a muscle in my chest (again!) and it feels like I'm dying. 

I need coffee. 

And something for the pain. 

Mango?  It's worth a try.

I'm still going shopping today. 

I hope a long hot shower will help.

the joys of living in a house with your ex gf...

I don't want to be with you but sometimes I still want to bash your car windows face in.

If I didn't believe in karma I'd also say your new flavor of the week (till she realizes you're crazy) gf looks really plain and boring.

kisses.